By Mx. Jacob Kelley
I’m Jacob Kelley, Jake, for those who know me. My pronouns are they/them, and I live in Northeastern Pennsylvania.
This is how I always introduce myself when I speak, facilitate, or educate. I know it doesn’t exactly paint a picture of who I am, so let’s expand.
I grew up in a rural town where being unapologetically bold and beautiful was the mark of a troublemaker. I was raised in an area where being queer or identifying with the LGBTQIA+ community was considered a sin, a bedroom secret never to be talked about. In my reality, it felt more like I should move or disappear in order to please the traditions of a predominantly white, heterosexual, cisgender, Christian, and country mindset.
My family values and traditions stem from a Japanese-American household, where my roles are held in a place of honor, and my actions are a reflection of my elders. The notion of “all work and little play” was instilled in me by my father, who valued a strong work ethic, a quality I now possess. Even if it may sound negative to others, I genuinely cherish the traditions of internal knowing, and I deeply respect the faith embedded in our traditions, understanding my place within my family. This presented challenges during my coming out journey, as my father recognized that the life he initially envisioned for me was no longer possible. Over many years and through extensive conversations, my dad has become one of my biggest supporters.
Where am I now? Well, in 2022, I became an entrepreneur with the launch of my business, Mx. Kelley Queer Education LLC. This step marked the start of my journey to educate and train individuals, locally and nationwide, on queer-inclusive sex education and LGBTQIA+ inclusion. While some might scoff and say, “Good luck in this area,” I take pride in my work. I am well aware that people are entrenched in their ways and often hesitant to expand their knowledge. Nevertheless, I see this challenge as an opportunity to be conquered.
I love what I do and have emerged as a trailblazer within my communities. Some of the integral parts of my journey thus far have been: initiating the first Pride event in northeast and north central Pennsylvania, uplifting the community, and engaging local leaders in supporting diversity through proclamations, appearances, and challenging conversations. How did I accomplish all of this by the age of 29? I pursued education; I earned my bachelor’s in psychology and communications, followed by a master’s in human sexuality education. Currently, I am diligently working on my PhD in human sexuality philosophy. Navigating through my learning disabilities, I embraced the motto, “Dreams don’t work unless you do.” I also hold the belief that knowledge is power.
Leveraging this knowledge and drawing from diverse experiences in various jobs, I have utilized these credentials and applied them to my drag persona. Trixy Valentine, my drag alter ego of almost 10 years, is truly amazing. She has propelled me to be fierce, fabulous, confident, and a reason to command attention. In the presence of such glamour, we tend to listen, and people indeed listened as they attended their first-ever drag shows, explored their first-ever queer spaces, and embraced their first-ever freedom from a small-town mentality. My proficiency in organizing drag events became so pronounced that I documented it in my first published book, Tipping is a Must.
I also enjoy the simple things, like taking off my armor of resilience to sit down and have a cup of coffee. I enjoy the excitement of traveling to feel the sense of the world and its cultures. I cry at times of stress, knowing that I can make the heaviness of being a leader look easy. I am a human with a passion and drive for change.
I am someone who, once upon a time, concealed myself, locking away my thoughts and aspirations deep within my mind, rendering them unseen by others. However, as time unfolded and I embraced my true self, proudly acknowledging my nonbinary identity and queerness, I found liberation. This newfound freedom enables me to express myself openly and authentically. It turns out that, when your identity diverges from the accepted norms of your community, it can shape a person to have resilience, confidence, and leadership. I quickly realized I had a choice—to be a role model for others, prioritize happiness over safety, and forge my own path in building safe and warm relationships with people who believed no one was willing to love and support them.
Beyond my childhood dream of wanting to be the Blue Power Ranger to fight crime and monsters, I have evolved into someone who challenges the world through learning, compassion, and honesty one step at a time. My name is Jacob Kelley, but you can call me Jake.
