By Barrett White
Since the reboot premiered on Netflix in 2018, Queer Eye has garnered nearly unanimous praise for its inclusive nature, loveable hosts, and expansive base of people the Fab Five seeks to help. Set in Georgia, the second iteration of the early-2000s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy has ditched its “straight guy” base and made over the lives of a woman, a gay man, and perhaps most notably, a trans man. Skyler Jay is a Georgia native, and if you haven’t seen his episode—it’s important.
The beginning of the Jay’s Queer Eye episode focuses on his top surgery—Jay has just woken up and is seeing his new chest for the first time. While all-in-all the episode was a home run, some viewers found this intro to be a bit voyeuristic, if not pandering to a straight audience’s preconceived notion that trans bodies require surgery to validate their gender identity. For Jay, however, the Queer Eye process was more than what a producer could arrange into the introduction of a 23-minute episode. “Of course [the producers of Queer Eye] wanted to make sure I’d be comfortable sharing my story and talking about the fact that I am trans man,” Jay explains. “The whole process in the beginning was quite stressful because I was focused on trying to get my top surgery before my birthday. So I really had a lot going on, but I felt that, given the place I was in my life and in my transition, it was the right thing to do—to open myself up and share what I was going through—as long as the production understood my main focus was the surgery. Queer Eye was very accommodating and kind throughout the duration of working with them.”
The episode portrays Jay’s desire to fully be his true self, held back by a society that has refused him his “M” gender marker on his driver’s license, a style that he hasn’t quite put his finger on, and the apartment of a true bachelor looking to be tidied up. Reflecting on filming (which took place over a year ago), Jay describes how the confidence he once had to fake, especially at the beginning of the episode, has now become his reality. “I’ve gotten a new car and gone back to school,” he shares. “A good majority of my time over the last year has been focused on the lawsuit I am pursuing against [Georgia’s] public college and university system to remove their transgender healthcare exclusions from their policies.”
That dedication and grit has become Jay’s M.O. “I love being queer and trans!” he says. “‘Queer’ leaves me open to so many possibilities, and it engages people in important dialogue since it is such an open and inclusive term. And I love being trans. Don’t get me wrong—this path is an incredibly difficult one—but I truly do feel that it is a privilege to have walked in this world and experienced both ends of the gender spectrum.”
But devotion to an authentic life doesn’t come without hurdles—he’s been dragged out of bathrooms, had every slur thrown at him, and has been jumped more times that he can count. Despite the trouble he’s faced, however, he remains proud of his southern roots. “To me, being southern always comes back to hospitality—making people feel welcomed and cared for. Being trans is an identity that is often forcibly pushed into the shadows—people don’t want to talk about it, especially in the South. So I feel that being trans and southern gives me the foundation of living with an open heart and mind, and it’s what helps provide me with a sense of radical patience to be hospitable enough to have open dialogue with every person who approaches me. Both words, ‘southern’ and ‘trans,’ are important pillars of who I am.”
Jay shares how, as he was coming-of-age, he was lucky enough to have trans and gender non-conforming elders as mentors to help guide him through his gender journey. “I have been very lucky in my transition in that I live in an area with a very high population of trans and gender non-conforming folks, so though transition is a solo journey, I rarely ever felt completely alone on that path thanks to my queer and trans elders and friends that I sought out,” he says.
He recounts, with delight, the gratitude he felt toward the first visible trans man he ever knew: “I’m forever grateful to him, and it’s why I choose to live so openly. I feel like, by doing that, I am paying forward the life he gave to me to other trans and gender non-conforming folks who need to see a visible trans person in order to understand themselves, or have hope that they can be happy and healthy one day too.”
Post-Queer Eye, Jay has received an outpour of support from trans folks around the globe. “I’ve cried more than a dozen times,” he says, reading through the messages of thanks, hope, and injustice. “After feeling so weighted and burdened for so many years and not be able to conquer molehills, I’m slaying mountains and just can’t stop looking forward and up for what’s next—living my best life.”
When asked if he had advice or words of encouragement for other queer or trans people growing up in the South, Jay responds: “Find the community. Don’t be scared of it, and don’t let cishet society’s judgment keep you from finding people who can understand and support you, even if you aren’t out yet. Don’t expect you’ll fit with the first group of LGBTQ folks you find. But when you do finally find your place—your people—it’s nothing short of magical and there’s such power in numbers.”
Keep up with Skyler Jay on Instagram at @trans.ginger and catch Queer Eye’s latest season on Netflix. Jay is featured on Season 2, Episode 5 (Sky’s The Limit).
