Editor’s note: This is the third installment of Spectrum South Snapshots, a Spectrum South original series highlighting southern queer folks and the communities in which they thrive.
By Josh Inocéncio
Name: Shane Farmer
Hometown: Hartsville, SC
Current town: Greenville, SC
How do you identify?
I think most people would look at me and believe that I am a plain boring boy next door. I identify as a white, gay, cisgender male. However, I find that my skin features sometimes throw a lot of people off—my darker complexion and other characteristics cause many people to mistake me for Hispanic/Latin (I’ve literally been asked if I’m “like white white”). I grew up in a working–class family where my mom dropped out of high school to take care of my grandmother (who passed away before I was born) and my father barely graduated high school. Education is extremely important to me since I was the first in my family to graduate from college, went on to get my master’s degree, and plan on continuing my education (I’m a lifelong learner).
What’s a day in Greenville, SC like for you?
A typical day? Do those exist? My students often hear me say that the only certainty in my day is uncertainty. I work in higher education administration where I manage a student center and work with student leaders at a local university. If it’s not a busy time of year, I typically work Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. at a job that I love because it’s my passion.
I start most days working out at a local gym where I participate in functional fitness classes—similar to Crossfit—with an amazing fitness fam. I absolutely love them—they’re some of the most supportive and accepting people. I remember being terrified of being the joke of the class when I first started, or having to hide my sexuality because I was scared of not being accepted. However, I have found the complete opposite to be true. The individuals I share this experience with are amazing. They cheer me on in my endeavors and I’m like “oh, stop,” but in reality, it really keeps me going (as I nonchalantly pose with my barbell or in a burpee).
After a “quick” workout, I shower and get ready for the day. I make sure that everyone else is good before I lock myself in the bathroom to start my daily routine of prepping for work. I leave the gym (most of the time later than I should) and head to my office where I’m greeted by my student staff who help me run the student center. I typically spend most of the day running around the building troubleshooting AV issues or processing space requests. On many occasions, I also find myself explaining to students why they cannot have open flames in the building or reveling in my student staff’s amazing abilities to run a building like full-time professionals. Usually, I find myself leaving the building after 5 p.m. because I get so easily distracted by catching up with my students as I am walking out the door.
Once I make it home, I usually make a dinner I’ve found on Pinterest or Buzzfeed. I love cooking and trying new restaurants. In the evening, I often find myself enjoying a glass of wine or a good craft brew while I am cooking and unwinding. I then make sure to spend the rest of the evening reading the latest book I’ve picked up (currently Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City) or watching my favorite shows (working my way through the original Will and Grace and just finished Game of Thrones—you can now post spoilers on social media). I finally find myself in bed around 9:30 or 10:00 p.m. so I can start it all over again.
During my free time and on weekends, I find myself working on my new home that I just bought. If I’m not at home, you can find me either exploring downtown Greenville—a top rated downtown by numerous travel magazines—or hiking. I love spending my time in a coffee shop, visiting one of my favorite bars, breweries, or restaurants, or even catching Shakespeare in the Park at Falls Park.
What are the greatest challenges of living (as an openly queer person) in South Carolina?
Sometimes I do find the LGBTQ community to be a small one. I have made a lot of friends here in the community, but I worry that it might be a little too small for my preference. It can sometimes be difficult to find people with whom you mesh well.
I do sometimes find myself fearing the stereotype of the South. I worry that people will judge me harshly for my sexual orientation. I find this happening less and less, but it is still a fear that I have.
What keeps you there?
Well, I moved away for a few years to Florida to get my master’s degree. Florida may be geographically located in the South, but the culture is completely different.
I moved back to South Carolina after grad school because of my grandfather’s deteriorating health. I took a job back at my alma mater, which is a dream first job. I greatly enjoy living in Greenville. It has amazing offerings with food, activities, and a prime location (close to Atlanta, Charlotte, Charleston, and Asheville). I also just bought a house here, so I’ve kind of committed to be here a few more years. It’s just an all-around great place to live.
What would you want outsiders to know most about the region?
I want people to know that, while there are some bad things that happen here and the South isn’t always the most accepting place to live, once you find a support system, it’s probably one of the strongest you will ever find. I have found some of the most caring and loving people who I have truly connected with during my time in Greenville. The pace of life is amazing in a southern city. It’s not overly anxious, but it’s also not boring. I encourage people to give the South a chance and to make sure to visit Greenville if they ever get a chance.
